Misteltoe Madness A Buchou's Nightmare
by ChAtOiC MaDnEsS
Summary: Chapter 4 is up How will Sanada survive the Girl's Council for buchou love? Girl's council for buchou's love in action! The first victim is Tezuka, second would be Atobe, and so on... Get my drift?
1. Prologue

_**Mistletoe Madness – A Buchou's Nightmare**_

_**Prologue**_

"Settle down! Settle down everyone!" the girl standing at the top of the room shouted, "The session shall begin now." She shouted as her eyes scanned the small meeting room. Girls from around the region had gathered today for a very important meeting that they took seriously. Every year the same meeting had taken place with them finalizing a strategy and every year they had failed, but this year they were determined.

"Settle down! The meeting shall begin now." Seiichiro Yumi announced as she crossed her arms watching the girls. "Minako please take notes." She ordered a young girl standing next to her with a notepad and pen. "The council of girls love for Buchous shall be in session now."

The twenty four girls sitting in the room together remained quiet and put all their focus onto their leader that stood there with her chin in hand.

"School will break for Christmas holiday soon and we need to make sure that this year we get all the captains of the tennis clubs." She said with determination. "Keiko from Hyotei, do you have the objects in your possession."

"Yes Yumi-san!" Keiko stood up saluting, "With the money that we have collected; I have in my possession 174 mistletoes to be distributed amongst the six target schools during this week."

"I see." Yumi said with a flip of her hair. "Please name schools and their targets, Sai."

Sai stood up and saluted, "Yes, leader." She said in a voice filled with loyalty. She pulled out a paper from her file and began reading:

"_Tazuka Kunimitisu - Seigaku_

_Atobe Keigo – Hyotei Gakuen_

_Sanada Genichirou because Yukimura Seiichi is in the hospital – Rikkai Dai_

_And so on… "_

"Who is the first target?" Yumi asked.

"Tezuka Kunimitsu." Sai answered as she pulled out a huge bulk of paper from a bag, "These are facts of how he spends his days and full class and tennis schedule." She announced.

"Very well…" Yumi nodded in satisfaction. "Let us proceed to Tezuka."

"Yes!" They all shouted agreeing in unison.

"With this said the council of girls love for Buchous is in recession." Yumi said, "Let us proceed with our plan."

**Authors Note:** On a serious note – I think I might have been high on something when I wrote this. This idea popped into my mind when I was contemplating suicide as I sat in one of my long overdue classes. Anyhow, do enjoy this crack fic as I would like to call.


	2. Tezuka Kunimitsu

_**Mistletoe Madness – A Buchou's Nightmare**_

_**Buchou Number 1 – Tezuka Kunimitsu**_

"Don't go in through the front door." Oishi told Tezuka as they walked towards Seigaku. "And make sure you have Kawamaru with a tennis racquet near you in most of you periods."

Tezuka remained emotionless as they walked through the school gates towards the main school building.

"Tezuka! Tezuka! Are you listening to me?" Oishi asked.

The captain blinked at him and gave him a wry look. "I will be fine." He spoke in a solemn voice.

"But…"

"I will be fine." He said with a determination. He had those eyes that he kept on court when he played against someone seriously. It reminded Oishi of the time he played against Atobe Keigo.

"There he is! Don't let him get away!" Sai ordered, "Get him under that mistletoe!" She shouted running after Tezuka with three girls behind. "Minako, make sure you have the camera!" She told the young girl as she pulled a walkie talkie out of her bag. "Keiko, he is heading your way, over."

"We see him." Keiko said over the walkie talkie, "We'll manage."

"Yes!" They all shouted.

Tezuka ran fast darting and dodging between school corridor and people. Normally a rule of not running in school corridors applied, but even the teachers knew better than to stop the buchou as he ran for his life.

All day they had managed to almost catch him by placing mistletoes all over the school. His locker had one, all his classes had one and he was wondering where they managed to get his schedule, the gym, and even the boys' bathroom.

Holding tightly onto his tennis bag, he made a dash towards the main door. He knew once outside there will be his salvation. Just as he made it outside, he froze…

It was over…

"TEZUUKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Oishi yelled a gruesome scream yes, the same scream he had shouted when Tezuka fell while he was playing Atobe

**Authors Note: **Sighs you think Im crazy, don't you? Lol. I thought it would be fun to see how the captains manage mistletoe madness.

Anyway – Im writing this for fun – Next will be the great Atobe Keigo.


	3. Atobe Keigo

_**Mistletoe Madness – A Buchou's Nightmare**_

_**Buchou Number 2 – Atobe Keigo**_

"Attention to Sai."

Sai looked at the walkie talkie and picked it up, "Yes, Minako. What do you see?" she asked over the device.

"He has entered and this year he has Germans around him."

"How many?"

"Six." Minako replied.

Sai looked at Kekei who stood next to her. "The Germans are tougher than the Russians." Keikei remarked.

"It will be a problem but we have a strategy in mind, however do let the leader now."

"Yes!" Keikei saluted as she ran towards where Yumi waited.

"Trying to cause us stress this year, your majesty?" Sai whispered to herself as she watched Atobe Keigo walk through the building.

"I think he's insane." Shishido remarked with his arms crossed as he saw Atobe reading through some papers with six suited bodyguards around him.

"On the contrary..." Oshitrai said smirking as he walked towards Shishido. "Atobe is smart to bring protection on a day like this." He answered as he looked at his captain. "That council is crazy and they're sharp."

"I heard they even got Tezuka." Gakuto exclaimed as he jumped out of no where in front of them.

"Atobe should well guard himself like that." Oshitari smiled, "They've planted mistletoes everywhere and although they're targeting Atobe they're not backing out on anyone else."

"You mean…" Shishido asked.

"I'm sorry I'm late." Said a soft voice as the source of it walked towards them embarrassed.

"Chouta!" Shishido exclaimed as he saw his junior teammate covered in…

"They got you, didn't they?" Oshitari asked as he saw the already embarrassed regular covered in lipstick.

Ootori held onto his head, "All I saw were screams, flashes, and they nearly ripped my shirt." He sighed as he sat down.

"Flashes?" Gakuto asked.

"They said something about a photo album." Ootori muttered referring to a camera.

"Does that mean we're all in danger?" Shishido asked.

"Yes."

"Watch out, sir." Said a man dressed in a suit sharply as he extended an arm in front of Atobe.

Atobe took a step back as two girls fell on the floor on top of each other. "Damnit!" yelled one of the girls who glared at him, "We're going to get you!" she said pointing her finger at him.

"May we dispose of the nuisance, sir?" asked another bodyguard next to him.

"Please do." Atobe said with a smirk.

The bodyguard lifted each girl under his arm without giving them a chance to say anything and walked out while they both shouted.

"Attention leader."

Yumi picked up her walkie talkie, "Speak."

The voice cackled over the intercom, but finally after it cleared. "We have gotten rid of two Germans; he now has only four around him."

"Understood." Yumi answered switching it off. She looked at another girl and waved her hand at her, "It's your turn, Kimiko."

"Yes, ma'am!" she saluted as she rushed out.

"Do not underestimate the girls' council, your highness." She whispered to herself.

As the day went along – girls kept throwing themselves at him only to be disposed by his bodyguards. And then finally…

_That was close, _Atobe thought as he sidetracked a figure as it fell in front of him. "Don't you idiots give up?" he asked annoyed at the girl that lay on the floor looking at him adoringly.

She grabbed his leg.

"Oy!" He said surprised, "Let go of these? Do you know how much my shoes cost?" he demanded moving a hand through his fine elegant hair. "Dispose of this commoner." He ordered his bodyguard.

As the bodyguard left him; Atobe paused for a minute when he realized.

"No more bodyguards, your highness." He heard a female speak from behind him.

Atobe turned around and his eyes twitched. There were not one, two, or three girls. But seven stood viciously in front of him waiting to pounce and one peculiar looking thing stood at the side with a camera in hand. "Any last words?" Yumi asked triumphantly.

Atobe actually took a step back. "Just one sentence." He said quietly.

"Well?" she asked as they all took a step forward.

"I'm screwed Kabaji, nah?" he said softly.

"Usu!"

**Authors Note: **Yes, sadly the great Ore-Sama was no match for the Girl's Council. These girls mean business – next chapter! You will find out why the girls are doing this! Also, how will Sanada survive the attack of the council! Muwahahahahahahahaa!

P.S.  High on something yet again!


	4. Sanada Genichirou

_**Mistletoe Madness – A Buchou's Nightmare**_

**_Buchou Number 3 – Sanada Genichirou_**

"Genichirou, you do know that they're going to come after you this year instead of Seiichi?" Renji Yanagi said as he walked with the vice captain of their team to the club house.

Sanada actually grimaced a bit, "Don't remind me." He muttered.

"Just be careful." Renji warned, "I have a made a note that there are three thousand six hundred and ninety seven different places that can have mistletoes hung in this school." He said as he rubbed his jaw lightly. "Our club room alone can handle two hundred and thirty seven."

Sanada just looked at him thinking about the statistics.

"Also I do must warn you that Nioh will help them all the way." He said turning his face to look at Sanada. "He is after all a shadow member in that committee."

"What is Nioh doing in that council?" Sanada muttered as his eyes narrowed while making a mental note to make Nioh so exhausted today that he would not have the energy to do anything.

"I imagine blackmail." Renji answered, "Those pictures will be useful." He said smiling.

0000

"We do not care if he is your vice captain." Yumi told Nioh as she crossed her arms. "You have signed a contract and will be abiding to it."

"As long as you fulfill your side of the contract; I am content." Nioh answered with a snicker.

"And part of the agreement to make you do this." Sai spoke as she waked in with two envelopes. "These are of Tezuka and Atobe." She said smugly as she placed both envelopes in his hands.

Nioh grinned opening the envelope then pulled the pictures. They were not pretty as he smile got even bigger. "You girls are good."

Yumi crossed her arms again, "Did you underestimate our abilities?"

"No." Nioh said shaking his head, "But I will be very surprised if you break Sanada."

All the girls smiled.

0000

As Sanada walked out of his classroom he was a bit relieved, but at the same time on alert. He held his book bag over his shoulders and waked hurriedly across the hall, as he turned he bumped into someone.

"Ooooooh…."

Sanada blinked and looked down as he heard the voice. He saw a girl sprawled on the floor holding onto her knees, "Are you alrig…" he asked, then stopped as he realized something. "I'm not falling for that Keiko." He said flatly walking away from her.

Keiko sat up glaring. She took her walkie talkie out of her shirt and pressed the button. "Yumi."

"Yumi here, speak." cackle

"He counterattacked and recognized me."

"Hmm…" Sai's voice came over the device.

"He has apparently been warned by the data man." Yumi considered, "You girls proceed with the operation. I will speak to the data man."

"Yes, leader." Keiko nodded to herself as she stood up and ran after Sanada.

0000

While Renji walked across the hall to one of his classrooms.

"Data man."

He stopped, "Yes, Yumi?" he said turning to the source of the voice.

The leader of the council walked towards him with a glaring to her eyes. "Did you tip him off?"

"Of course."

Yumi sighed, "What are you doing, Yanagi?" She asked, "You're supposed to help me."

"I never agreed to any matters of helping." Renji smiled a bit, "After all, I can't make Nioh's task easier? Right?" he asked as he waked away from her.

"Is this data on how Sanada acts really that worth it to you?" she shouted frustrated.

"Of course."

0000

"Okay, Sai." Nioh grinned waking towards her with a paper, "He will be the last one to leave the club room."

"And?"

"I will make sure to lock him in there." Nioh smirked putting his hands in his pockets.

Sai smiled mischievously, "You're evil, Nioh."

"Yep."

0000

"Why isn't half of the team not here?" Sanada demanded looking around at the half empty courts.

Jackal walked towards him with a wry look, "They're here, but…"

"But what, Jackal?" Sanada demanded. His mood was at its worst, all day he had been trying to avoid those stupid girls.

"They're here but passed out." Jackal answered.

"Passed out?" he asked.

Jackal pointed towards a bench where Kirihara, Bunta, and Yagyuu slept on with Renji above them noting stuff. Sanada sighed wryly and walked towards them, "Yanagi."

"Hold on." Renji muttered. "There are thirty two lipstick marks on Bunta, Twelve on Kirihara, and Yagyuu has eighty nine." He said softly jotting them down.

"Make that ninety." Nioh answered, "Someone got him at the back as well." He said with a grin lifting Yagyuu's shirt slightly to show the peculiar red lipstick mark on his back.

"I didn't know that Yagyuu was that popular."

"Not really, he just walked into a freshman's class room by mistake." Nioh smirked.

"That can't be a mistake." Sanada answered. "Yagyuu knows the school inside and out."

"Not if you change the classroom signs." Nioh grinned.

Sanada narrowed his eyes, "Masaharu." He said sharply.

"What?"

"A hundred and twenty laps."

Nioh's eyes widened, "You're joking, right?"

"Do I look like I'm joking!" Sanada demanded.

Nioh sighed, "You're no fun." He muttered as he went to do his laps.

"Cancel practice for the day, Yanagi." Sanada ordered, "And have someone carry these three back. I will stay here to practice by myself."

0000

"That Nioh is a pure genius." Sai whispered as she watched the events that were happening in the tennis court.

"He actually cancelled practice like he said he would." Minako said in awe.

"Ladies…" Yumi said with a smile, "In position."

"Yes!"

0000

As Sanada changed after practice he sighed. He had planned a whole new practice strategy for today and Nioh had to go and do something stupid and ruin it. He closed his locker and picked his stuff up and proceeded to walk to the door. As he turned the handle, the door wouldn't budge. "Hmmm…." He whispered.

He tried again, but to no avail. "Am I locked in?" he asked out loud, then sighed. "I will have to wait for the janitor." He muttered turning around and then blinked.

"You are a very difficult man to get, Sanada-san."

Sanada narrowed his eyes, "Don't you girls have anything better to do?" he asked eyeing the nine girls that stood in font of him. _Didn't Renji say they were only five people? _He thought.

"You should be flattered, Sanada-san." Sai said smiling, "We got more members when they heard you were on the list."

He didn't say anything.

"Shall we girls?" Keiko said.

"YES!" they all yelled.

Sanada just wished he had his sword with him.

0000

Finally it was much later that Nioh walked towards the clubroom and unlocking the door.

Minutes later he heard shuffling and Sanada walked out.

It took all self control Nioh had not to laugh at the state his vice captain was. "Masaharu!" Sanada said sharply handing him a paper not looking at him as he walked away.

Nioh smirked and looked at the paper. "No Freaking way?" he exclaimed when he read the content of the paper.

_**Nioh's Pracice Schedule for Tomorrow**_

_**Morning – 30 laps before school**_

_**Lunch – 50 laps**_

_**Practice – 50 laps**_

_**After school hours – 100 laps**_

**_Menu – Lunch will be exclusively prepared by Renji._**

0000

**Authors Note: **Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet! I loved pulling Nioh into this one! Hope you like! I'm trying to decide who's next? Any suggestions?


End file.
